Nature Walk

I had to get out of the house after being stuck indoors for two whole days. Spring is pretty but I hate the unpredictability of the weather. The rainy days affected my mood so much  that I fell into brooding about my life. That wasn't good. Brooding usually gets me to notice all my annoying characteristics.  So annoying that I'm not even going to share. 

So I decided to leave my dog Marley to Yoshi, his German Shepherd/Husky babysitter, and go for a walk. If I had the energy maybe some jogging. 

And boy did I walk.

As soon as hit the path I put on my music. (It's illegal to have headphones on in Germany if you walk around streets where cars and bicycles may happen by). The place was deserted.  I could already smell the manure from the potato fields. I welcomed all of this. I had no idea how much I was craving this short freedom that was just a 5 minute walk from home.

The music pumped me enough to go sprinting through the path. I felt like I was flying. For about a full 30 seconds I didn't feel that expected tightening of the lungs from the sheer effort of running that fast. Thank God I was alone because I started laughing a little crazily as I slowed down. Who would have thought sprinting would feel that good. You all would probably think I was on some kind of drug.

Then it began. Endorphins kicked in and my senses were suddenly overwhelmed with everything. I wish I had a camera then. No I wish I had the talent to photograph the experience I was having. I wish I could sing. That's easy. What I really wanted was the guts to write poetry or make a song. I really really wished at that point that I could extract from this reality, save it in some form and share it. I am neither skilled or talented to do anything about it. Here I am trying to write about it but I don't think I'm putting it across the way I really want to.

Anyone walking through the same area would have thought it plain. Its just a bunch of weeds and fields. It's just evergreen stumps near rows and rows of green. Normally, I would have been annoyed with the bugs smacking into my face as I walk by.

But the cool wind felt really good on my face. The weeds and dandelions looked so pretty together. The silence of trees and the fields spoke to me. I started wishing my legs didn't get tired so easily. I wish I didn't have to turn back. I could have gone further. The path seemed endless. But typical worries started to plague me. What if I get lost? What if some animal comes blundering by and I get injured? What if it rains? 

I saw another woman walking the same path towards me with her dog.  I thought to myself "no not yet" I didn't want to walk back to my life yet. But I could already feel it. The heavy pull of daily concerns and responsibility. I had to leave this peaceful place. Maybe, I thought, I can come back tomorrow. 

I picked up my dog, had coffee with my landlord, and made my way home. I wondered if a rainy day tomorrow would not be so bad after all. It has, after all pushed me enough to experience something more  from something so ordinary as a nature walk. Maybe brooding wasn't so bad after all. I realized how much I enjoy it. That's probably why I had so many annoying characteristics. It is so I can brood and be unhappy. It is so I can go experience normal things in a different light and appreciate it. Man, am I lucky.